Dear Sanesiders,
I hope your day is off to a great start.
Let's talk about something real quick and I hope you pick a thing or two from this.
Now, if you're a parent, a guardian, a mentor, a leader, or simply someone who has the privilege of influencing another person's life, this is for you.
You can correct people. Encourage them. Point out where they can do better. Help them grow.
But please, don't COMPARE them to someone else.
Especially if it's your child, so parents please take this very seriously.
It may seem harmless, even playful—but comparison serves no positive purpose in the long term.
The moment you compare a child to another person, a shield goes up in their heart. What follows is often anger, resentment, irritation, and hurt. Before you know it, the lesson you were trying to teach, the point you were trying to communicate will be lost because all they can hear is the COMPARISON!
Another thing it does is, it destroys the self-esteem of the child.
And self-esteem is one of the foundations of long-term success.
Think about it. If you constantly compare your child to a friend, a sibling, or another person, how do you expect them to relate with that person? Instead of learning from them, they may begin to feel inferior, resent them, or avoid them altogether.
And if there was something to actually learn from the said “BETTER” person. They won't pick it up because of the feelings they already harbor.
The comparison doesn't inspire growth, it creates inferiority.
I feel particularly concerned for the girl child who grows up hearing constant comparisons. Because before you know it, the parents will start talking of marrying her off to a man who's rich enough once they bring MONEY!
The same thing happens with boys. Some are pushed into doing dangerous things because their parents want them to make it big in their own timing!
That mindset is dangerous.
Life has seasons. It has timing. It has stages.
Parents, of all people, should help their children understand that, not make them feel like they're already behind.
Here at the SaneSide, we're intentional about shaping better conversations so that we become parents, leaders, and people who build others up instead of tearing them down.
And speaking of conversations...
Beyond Conversation is happening this Saturday, 25th July, in Enugu, and I'd love for you to be there.
If you're yet to register, get your ticket using this link.
See you in Enugu.
Eric Gugua.
Well said sir. My dad compares a lot and it used to get to me but not anymore. I’m someone that is very self aware so I just see it as him Channeling his own fears and regrets to me.
Unfortunately, my father is not on Substack. Read it out loud to my mother's hearing sha 😹🌸